Monday, August 25, 2008

New Segment: Lists My Batshit Neighbor Leaves Me.

So she is going out of town for a week and I am watering her plants. Good god she has a lot of them. She try's to give me verbal instructions on how to do with her 50+ plants, but, cuz I am a prick, I insist she gives me a list. But the issue is she does not seem to under stand what a list is. So without further delay, the "list":
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Patritia
1. Water plants outside by your entry way
2. On stairwell water
3x
water on THUR, SAT, MON
3. Water on balcony
as much as you can -
I usualy do everyday
1X a day
- with heat, try to do EVERY OTHER DAY?
(Smiley face here)
4. 2 keys-
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This one is MUCH more coherent than the last one was, though I should point out that she left me with 3 keys. I should also point out there are plants in other locations that I am not sure what to do with, and she verbally told me that I can use a cup or some other sort of container to transport the water.
I hope I remember that part.
Cup, cup, cup. I have to remember to use a cup.

5 comments:

jwfbean said...

love the word batshit. who's patritia?

The Eel said...

I assume it is her name. But that is traditionally last.

jwfbean said...

maybe it's the name of a plant?

Dr. Strangelove said...

Why on earth did you agree to watering her plants? I mean, one or two, sure... but if you've got 50 fucking plants, that is seriously your own god damned problem if you want to go out of town and not have them die. Hire a god damned gardener!

There is a reason why in the absence of myself (or any guests) there are no multi-cellular forms of life in my apartment. Certainly not that I welcomed in, in any event.

The Eel said...

Yeah, well, she kinda misrepresented how many there would be. And when she showed me I was too tired to argue.