A Slight Mess in the Basement

So, I have been pestering my bat shit crazy neighbor for about a year about her mess in the basement:


Now, I know what you are thinking. Geezz Eel, chill out. What is the big deal?? I mean, sure she is monopolizing all of the storage space but she has been living here for a long time so that must mean she is entitled to, and I am sure that what ever is in those bags is perfectly sanitary and not moldy at all.

Well, it is true that I really don't need to use the space my self. I just (for some reason) have never collected hundreds of pounds of trash that I need to keep in my life, or under my life. The problems is this:


Ok, so that pile of garbage... er belongings... is precarious and is libel to fall at any moment, but what is the big deal? I mean aside from the fire hazard, health issues due to mold, and that she is (justifiably I am sure) monopolizing the space. Lets look a little closer:


Yup, that is the buildings washing machine and dryer nesseld in the piles of crap... er belongings.

So, to make a long story short every now angain I pester her about it. The last time (about a week ago) she yelled at me:
"Eel, I just can't deal with this right now!!!"
And stormed off.

So, yesterday, (this is what you have been waiting for, and this time I scanned the note!!!) she left a note in my mail box:




And now for the translation:
Dear Eel -
Plez Know i Knocked on your door
couple of
Nites AGo - for I wan't to reply to your inquiry -->
About Things
downstairs
I appreciate
Trying

(underline)(underline)(upsidown)!!Eel!!(/upsidedown)(/underline)(/underline)
-Always
Pata

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I am thinking of putting together a book of her writings.

Feeding the Cat

But I found this note in my mail box this morning in response to asking, once again, for a list:
--------------------------------------------------
Good Day, Josh
How nice of you to feed Bumkie The Cad (drawing of what looks like a snowman, but I assume to be the cat, she claims to be an artist)

(Smiley Face)
To the dish is on the Balcony, which is other place I leave it - before steps down. Food is on your back balcony.

Take food to your house cuz raccoons

(rotate 90deg)

I'll get Food When returned
Got it
(smiley face)
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New Segment: Lists My Batshit Neighbor Leaves Me.

So she is going out of town for a week and I am watering her plants. Good god she has a lot of them. She try's to give me verbal instructions on how to do with her 50+ plants, but, cuz I am a prick, I insist she gives me a list. But the issue is she does not seem to under stand what a list is. So without further delay, the "list":
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Patritia
1. Water plants outside by your entry way
2. On stairwell water
3x
water on THUR, SAT, MON
3. Water on balcony
as much as you can -
I usualy do everyday
1X a day
- with heat, try to do EVERY OTHER DAY?
(Smiley face here)
4. 2 keys-
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This one is MUCH more coherent than the last one was, though I should point out that she left me with 3 keys. I should also point out there are plants in other locations that I am not sure what to do with, and she verbally told me that I can use a cup or some other sort of container to transport the water.
I hope I remember that part.
Cup, cup, cup. I have to remember to use a cup.