Mr. Mehlman's Wild Ride

Ok, so I lost my license. Not forever, just 30 days. I did something dumb (97 in a 65).
I can say a lot about this:
What I did was not worth that punishment.
What I have done over the years deserves this.
What I was going through explains my behavior.
What happened in my life excuses nothing.

It does not matter. I lost my license.
But this is not what I want to talk about.
I have been riding my bike to work a lot even before this. I love my bike. But this means I HAVE to ride my bike. That or take BART/Bus.
It says something that riding my bike takes 1/2 the time of public transit. Ok, it says two things.
But that is not what I want to talk about.

I lost my license, so I have to ride my bike. Even when It rains.
This is what I want to talk about.

My ride is 8.5 miles in the hills.
Or, I can take the long way.
On the long way the first thing I do, is climb up a nasty hill. The long way is 17 miles, and it takes me an hour and a half. The first 2 miles is 20 minuets. That is under the best of conditions.

It was cold.
It was wet.
It was foggy.
I loved it!

Riding up those hills was fantastic! I have never been so much in the moment as this. It was not much of an effort as the rain was cooling me down up the hills. I could hear every possible thing around me and nothing more than a mile from me. There were parts of the ride where I could not see or hear anything that was more than 20 ft from me.

I am not going to try to detail the ride to you. I am not going to try to make you understand the anger I had when I had no more hill to climb. I will not try to bring you to the fear that I felt doing 40 mph in a bubble of fog no bigger than my bike. I am not going to make you understand the drive I had to push through a flat section with the rain pelting my eyes desperately trying to keep the warmth in my body.

I will, however, tell you that the closest thing I can compare it to is the first high a junky feels. But I know I can not chase it. I know I can never replicate what I felt that day. And I also know I can not share what I felt with any one. Neither can I explain it, nor can I get you to share it with me.

I just want you to know that I felt it, that for an hour and twenty five minutes I was truly alive.